The appalling penis injuries so bad they needed hospital treatment have been revealed.
From cringeworthy stunts like sliding down a flagpole to accidents like lacerating a testicle while changing a tyre, new figures show almost 3,000 men in America were admitted to hospital with such injuries in 2017.
One patient trapped their genitalia between two wheelbarrows, while another fell off the loo and on to a mousetrap which snapped shut on his nether regions.
All the incidents listed on the US Consumer Product Safety database were recorded because they had to be treated by medical staff.
One admission took place after a man tried to clean their manhood with bleach because they had gone to the loo having "chopped hot peppers".
Injuries related to sex acts included one man suffering a tear to the skin on his penis while "performing at a club" and a customer tried to pull his piercing.
Another lothario went to hospital with injuries suffered after using a penis pump which hospital notes said had "caused swelling".
But some of the balls up were innocuous accidents: one man’s keys "lacerated his genitals" after he fell, a cup of hot coffee landing in one chap’s lap while driving causing "scald burns".
Two people even were injured while sitting playing video games – one suffering pain after playing "for extended time" while another "twisted and injured" his genitals.
If you can brave it, here’s 49 of the worst injuries:
- dropped computer tablet while trying to get off toilet; lacerating penis
- tried to make a mold of genitals with putty which is now stuck on skin
- was sliding down a flag pole from the roof of his house cutting penis
- testicular pain and swelling after wearing a bungee cord as a belt
- playing baseball when accidentally struck own testicles swinging a bat
- playing baseball, slid into base while striking his testicles
- tied off his privates with string during sex
- shaved genitals, applied dish soap to area afterward and suffered rash
- spray painting, got paint on foreskin causing pain
- was taking a shower and using a rough brush to clean his genitalia, suffered cuts
- fell and keys in pocket lacerated genitals
- was driving while holding a cup of coffee passed out, spilled his cup and scalded himself
- laceration of testicle after hitting himself with a tyre iron while attempting to change a tyre
- penis caught in metal spring mattress
- riding mountain bike, hit a brick sustaining straddle injury from seat then falling down hill
- someone stepped on a rake and its handle struck victim in the groin
- spilled boiling hot peas on genitals
- playing video game, twisted and injured testicle
- testicle pain after sitting and playing video games for extended time
- patients states top of two litre coke bottle was placed around penis while sleeping, the patient had been drinking and was unable to remove
- sustained laceration to penis when he was trying to cut off a metal ring
- swelling to genitals after using pump
- was at a house riding a scooter naked when he fell forward getting scrotum caught on scooter
- slipped in rain outside, ran into wall with injury to glans of penis
- was at a fraternity party drinking alcohol, sat on a glass which broke cutting right scrotum
- rash to his penis and irritation when patient puts his underwear on
- scrotal pain since he was hit with a water balloon at the park
- standing on a radiator, slipped off and caught penis on valve
- in bed when rolled over on toothpick; laceration to penis
- playing on sofa with cousin when cousin bit patient in scrotum
- locked self out of the house so he climbed through a small window; caught his testicles
- hallucinating there are snakes in scrotum so he rubber banded his testicles so they don’t escape; meth abuse
- was break dancing on floor when belt buckle cut his penis
- riding skateboard earlier today to show nephew technique, landed on skateboard when it was vertical; pain to testicles
- was working on his car when the hood of the car slammed down on his genitals and ripped out his piercing
- was shooting firecracker and it came back hitting left shaft of penis
- groin pain after leg went through floor of trailer house
- was walking with a golf club, club got stuck on sidewalk hitting patient in testicles
- was kicked in scrotum while training in boxing
- bitten on penis by black fire ant
- cut penis on can opener
- hit in groin with paint ball shot from 15 ft away; contusion to penis
- was sitting on a couch when friend’s dog (small terrier mix) came up and bit his penis
- playing tug-of-war with dog and the ball on rope hit right testicle
- testicle pain for a week, worse after he goes skateboarding or when his dog stepped on his testicles
- while performing at club, someone reached up and pulled on one of his penis rings, tearing skin
- had been chopping hot peppers. Went to restroom and touched his penis. Used bleach to try to clean it
- smashed genitals in between two wheelbarrows
fell off toilet, fell onto a mouse trap, trap closed on privates
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