Mum’s horror as ex takes daughter on holiday but refuses to say where

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The mum only has contact with her former partner through lawyers. There is an agreement in place that he is allowed to take their nine-year-old daughter for one week during the summer – but she has no idea where he is taking her, reports Hull Live.

Taking to Netmums, the woman wrote: “My ex and I have no communication at all, everything is through his lawyer.

“He has a contact order for our daughter which I agreed for him to have her for a full week in the summer to go on holiday.

“Since the order has been in place he has taken her on holiday two times, both times I asked his lawyer for holiday information i.e flight information so I can check it arrived safely and an address of where they would be staying, not that I don’t trust him but more for my own peace of mind.

“This year as usual I asked him for details and his lawyer has replied saying that he doesn’t need to give me any details and that if I want these details I will have to go to court.

“The holiday is next week and I don’t feel comfortable with her going, not knowing where she is going to.”

The poster explained how she then tried to contact and reason with the lawyer to get an idea of what country their daughter is travelling to.

However, the lawyer said the ex can “legally take her away” without informing his ex-partner.

One user replied: “The short answer is that you have no automatic right to know where your ex is taking your child, just as they have no automatic right to know where you go either”.

Explaining further, the user went into more detail: “As long as your ex either has permission from all those with Parental Responsibility to leave the country with his child, or there is a Child Arrangements Order in place (which usually allows a parent to take a child out of the country for up to 28 days without the permission of other PR holders), and otherwise complies with the law, then he doesn’t even have to tell you that he’s going on holiday with his child.”

A few more Netmums users added to the discussion, one said: “”Parents can agree to have in the order that for travel abroad holiday details are always disclosed to the other parent – but it tends to work both ways”.

Then proceeded to ask the original poster if she tends to give details to her ex when she chooses to take their daughter away, or if the ex asks for the information.

However, the replier also sympathised with the original poster saying that they “completely understand” how the mum feels, saying they would also be “happier knowing” the information too.

Another user replied with a link to the current UK laws on getting permission to take a child abroad.

The law in the UK currently states that you must get proof of permission from those with parental responsibility, such as a letter which should include the person’s contact details and details about the trip.

Other information that may be helpful is the child’s birth or adoption papers, and a divorce or marriage certificate if you do not share the same last name as your child.

You can also gain permission by going through court where you must provide all relevant holiday information, as well as those with parental responsibility who are staying in the UK.

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